I've been in Victoria almost a month now. I came here with this big set of plans and this big to do list that would help me grow and learn. To be honest I haven't come close to crossing anything off besides get a job.

Yes, i've been procrastinating, but I also realized I don't really need that list. I still wanna complete it, but how did I think a list that I could have completed at home would change me. That list didn't have anything on it about helping with living with someone you don't know who's messy, or any of the other little things. So i'm making a new list here is it.

-SPEND TIME WITH GOD. 

Yep, that's it. That's the only thing on the list, because that's really all I need. I mean GREAT if i finish all those things and i'm not going to completely throw that list out. But i'm going to stop beating myself up for not getting those things done because god and my family is more important. And i've come to realize that's why god has brought me here. Well part of the reason. I know I won't know the full extent until I get home, but that's definitely most of it.

I'm rubber you're glue..maybe i'm glue.

I've been tirelessly trying to come up with a layout, design, and name for a design blog. And by tirelessly i mean watching boy meets world every night. I'm stuck at the name. I have three names i've kinda narrowed it down to. I want it to be something clever, something witty, and something simple. I've come up with three, i'm stuck on one but it's just not working. I know i've been taught never fall in love with your ideas and don't be afraid to throw anything out if it's not working. 

I've realized i've wanted this to be so perfect, and I thought it had to be. I thought, whatever i come up with now I have to keep. Might as well start branding myself and my designs now. But I guess that's not really true. I probably have a year to actually finalize something. Who cares if I start my blog as TBD really, at least i'm starting and posting and it's the content that counts.

So by the end of next week my design blog will be up and running! yay! 

Time to stop procrastinating Nicole.

Lists Lists Lists

I've clued onto several reasons why I'm supposed to be in Victoria this summer. It's clear god is up to something. But I've decided to make a small summer bucket list or things to do while I'm here. We all know I'm a list person, I create one every night for the next day. So far I've already hit the beach and Beacon Hill Park...and ended up with a sun burn. So here we go. This is mainly so that I have a hard copy of this and so that I can hold myself accountable.

READ:
 I have quite the big reading list for the summer. So here we go.

Bible (obviously)
Crazy Love (re read)
Jesus is_____.
Girls With Swords
Architecture of Happiness
Shaping Interior Space
Greater
The Shack
The Winter Vault

BLOG:
Blog on my Personal Blog Often
Start and keep up a new design blog. (which I have started!)
Read my daily blogs

CREATE:
 2 drawing exercises weekly. At least on perspective a week.
Finish two paintings.

APPLY:
 For 10 Scholarships

That should keep my pretty busy.

Time for a new adventure

here we go. Out on my own for the first time. Packed up all my car would fit and I’m headed to the island. 

When God says go does he ever mean go. I had the inkling to move to the island for the summer  a few months ago, but I pushed it down and ignored the idea. I debated the fact that I was really supposed to go. Was it god telling me to go? Well he really wanted to make it clear and during worship one day a r:gen specifically told me to go after as soon as I just finished my sentence praying for clarification. I was the most unreal thing i’ve ever felt. God has talked to me before but always in a gentle quiet voice. This was definitely louder, still gentle and quiet but loud in a different way. The only other time I’ve heard his voice so clearly was when I was in a black magic shop and it shrieked to shrilly and loudly to “GET OUT” which I agreed with, the place gave me the he-bee-jeebies and it was not okay.

So here I am sitting on a ferry with a few inklings why God has called me here for these short three and a half months, but I’m excited.

And I promise to blog more. I also have plans to start a design blog, so be excited. I just have to do some planning because I have a huge list of things I want to do this summer; reading, painting, drawing and blogging are some of the main ones.

So fellow bloggers I am back!

I question if i'm making the right decision every 15 minutes.

I know God's got me, but my earthly father is a child.

Oceans

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail


And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

You've never failed
And You won't start now.


Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger 

In the presence of my Savior

Rise

SHE IS CLOTHED IN STRENGTH AND DIGNITY AND LAUGHS WITHOUT FEAR OF THE FUTURE.

PROVERBS 31:25

 

I open my blog and this is the first thing that I see. As I sat and looked at it I thought, this is one of my  favorite verses and after my Nana died one I promised to live by. I realized lately I haven't done it justice. 

The last year I've built up numerous insecurities and without realizing it let them control part of my life. I feel like only have control over part of my life. But no Nicole, you have control of all of it. 

Everyone is talking about there word for the year and I figured mine out within the first day of the new year but I never really declared it over my life.

I think I've let myself slip into routine. I've dishonored my word because I let it just become routine, just let it become something I did and not let it be a part of my everyday. 

My word for the year was Rise. Now before I start defining my word let me paint you a picture of last year. 

 

A year ago I chose the word FIGHT for 2012. At that time I had no clue what my year would look like. There was nothing chaotic or turbulent about my life so I really had no idea as to why god gave it to me. It wasn't until now I realized how that word really framed my year. 

I was 100% under attack from the devil during 2012. What did I do, I fought. I remember one thing I kept reminding myself last year was this thought, "Hey Satan, what else you got cause I'm still standing. " All year long was blow by blow against what felt like a brick wall   and then in December he tried one last blow with trying to make my parents divorce. And Satan. I'm still standing.

 

 2012 is over and I can see why God gave me the word Fight. 

I can only start to conceive why god gave me the word Rise. I started thinking what it could mean. So like I always do I went to define the word.

//RISE//

 

  VERB

MOVES FROM A LOWER POSITION TO A HIGHER ONE

NOUN

AN UPWARD MOVEMENT

 

That right there got me. After reading this I kinda feel like everything I know has shattered. God always astounds me in the most amazing ways making me fall even more in love with him. I'm not going to define what rise means for me, because honestly I don't know yet. But for the last month I've been feeling god is definitely up to something big. I know the last year was challenging but it was for a reason and I know this year god is going to RAISE me to where I can't even imagine. 

This year I'm going to do what Nicole wants and just start taking the next step and not the next 5 year plan step. Giving god more room to move in my life, which is huge cause I'm a control freak. 1/5/10 year plan person. I feel like sometime I let god have control...but I still make sure I have the reigns. 

I'm ready for god to take me to the next level, what that holds who knows, and who cares. Cause I'm ready.

BEST VIDEO EVER

Time for a new adventure.

I really really should be continuing my homework, but I got distracted as always and have been really wanting to blog again. My problem is there's so many things happening and so many little thoughts popping around my head i don't know where to start. So lets start with a post about the big decision i've made recently.

I've decided to go on exchange. And all of you reading this probably already know this.

I'm so excited. A year ago I wouldn't have even thought about taking this opportunity. I always have wanted to travel but there never seemed to be money for it and I couldn't see a gap in time that I could do it. I'm always so focused on what's next I need to get this done, I need to get that done, responsibility responsibility blah blah blah. And sometimes there's so much crap in life that I just throw myself into work to blow that steam off and forget about it, which worries my for my future. But i'm 21, isn't this when i'm supposed to be travelling and figuring myself out. I've had my career basically figured out since i was 10 years old and since then there really hasn't been much room for adventure. 

I figured there's always time, and honestly I can make more money. This will be an investment in my future i'm more than okay making. The experiences I will have alone will pay for the trip over and over.

So the plan is to leave in August 2014 travel and visit in Europe for a month then arrive in Helsinki, Finland and do school for 4 months.

I'm not going to lie I am excited, but i'm completely scared shitless to be in another country all on my own. But that's what makes me believe it's completely from God. I have complete peace amongst the fear about it.

I just have to work my but off and get selected, because only two students per IDSN year get selected.

2013?

I'm ready for 2012 to be over. I must say it's been an interesting year. Tons of ups, but a heck of a lot more downs.

This past year nothing just seems to go right unless it's school.
Car accidents, broken bones, dead grandparents just to name the majors.

I feel thoroughly under attack. For the longest time I didn't know if I was taking the right path. I realize now because of the intense opposition I must be. Clearly the devil isn't happy with what i'm doing.

It almost makes me laugh and say "what you got next satan, because i'm still standing and Jesus already won. So bring it."

Well I said that and life decided to bring more at me.. next time i'm just going to say it in my head.

Maybe satan will give up in 2013 and realize nothings gonna knock me down because my God is bigger than anything.

Hello again.

So I've been absent due to school and since i'm DONE besides two projects I guess i'll just back in a bit for the meantime until next semester :)

These photos, beautiful right? Soo I wanna start with sharing my favorite images from Edward Burtynski. I came across these when doing a project on stone this semester and fell absolutely in love with his work. These are stone quarries, amazing how they can look so beautiful.