The lucky one living her dream

So school has STARTED, hence the lack of posts. I've been swallowed in homework, well not really more just running around getting supplies for the first few weeks. I've been super busy and it's hard work but i'm LOVING every second of it.

The program is amazing. It's so much more than I expected. I honestly stopped myself today and just listened to my prof and thought to myself am i really here. I feel like i'm walking in a dream. To talk about design. Draw everyday, expiriment with what I actually see and don't see. I'm not going to actually get to design any interiors this semester it's all fundamental building blocks to get me there, it's a ridiculous amount of fun.

Since there's only 20 people in each class, the program is incredibly tight knit. Everyone knows everyone I had people from other years seeking me out because they hadn't met me yet, third, fourth and fifth years just wonder in an out of my class room and ask if we need help and we can ask for guidance or help with anything.

The people in my class are THE sweetest and i've already become great friends with a lot of them. I can't wait for them to become like family.

My prof's are amazing a lot of them have impressing practice background and are even still practicing on the side.

I could go on forever about how excited I am and how great this is. All that's great, but it only happened because I followed that dream. You know the one, you know exactly what it is right now. I could have given up when they didn't accept me the first time. I could have given up when I was frustrated with being a first year three years in a row. I could have given up when my parents told me I could never do, i can't afford it and i'm going to fail at it. I could have given up simply because it's all the way in richmond and a 4 hour transit a day. But your dreams are hard for a reason. If it's right and it's something you want it's NEVER going to come easily and at some point or a lot of the time it WILL feel impossible. There will always be people telling you it's not possible or you can't do it, one of those people could be yourself. Just know they are wrong, you are wrong. When you beat it and when you get there, you look back and it was all worth it and it was all for a reason. God's timing is perfect and you don't understand it until after. So shoot for your dreams, because some smart lady once told me that if you want it badly enough there's no excuse that is EVER valid.

You know you make me a ghost

Do you remember when the walls fell

 Do you remember the sound that the door made when you closed it on me

Do you know that I went down to the ground

Landed on both my broken-hearted knees

I’m a ghost
Haunting these halls
Climbing up walls that I never knew were there
And I’m lost
Broken down the middle of my heart, heart
I’m broken down the middle of my heart, heart, heart

You know you make me a ghost

You make me a ghost

I’m an invisible disaster

I keep trying to walk but my feet don’t find the solid ground

It’s like living in a bad dream

I keep trying to scream but my tongue has finally lost its sound

Unsettling thoughts

Today is the day i've come to rest with the fact I would rather my parent's divorce than stay together.

Whatever happens I hold to you god. I know everything will be okay,