Oh my

Ticky ticky tock like a lovers clock

Found this picture a second ago. And it just reminds me of myself so much.

Bible, coffee cups, and rings on every finger.

When the world starts calming down

I love coffee dates. Such a good oppurtunity to catch up with those you haven't seen in a while. Or even people you see all the time but never really have the time to talk about whats going on in their lives. Its a good one on one quality time. Tonight I met with an old best friend Sasha, whom I haven't had an actual good talk with for about maybe 3 years. We occasionally talked at rugby but I think we still have some issues lingering creating some tension. Now we're graduated both of us have changed.

It was really nice to reconnect as we were pretty much inseperable for 3 years. At the begining of our friendship we attended the same church then a year later both of us stopped going. So obviously God led the conversation that way. And we talked about it for a majority of our conversation. It was exciting, she really wanted to come back, for the sake of her brother mainly. So I gave her a card and she assured my she was going to come out soon. So i'm excited for that.

 This morning was just a chaotic mess. I'm not even going to explain it. After the fiasco of this morning I came home had a nap. Before my nap I prayed I would wake up refreshed and ready to take on the rest of the day; as it was only 7:30am when I got home from my mess of a morning. And God totally delivered as you can tell. They day was amazing. I always know when one part of my day goes horrible he's ready to rock my world in the other portion of it.

My Life Be Like

This is the theme song for one of my favorite shows 'The Buried Life'. About 4 boys who have created what you would call a bucket list and travel around North America and cross off one of their items every week. Aswell as every item they cross off they help someone else cross something off thier list. Now it is known thse boys are from around here. Vancouver Island or the Gulf Islands I beleive. I never noticed the lyrics to this song even though I listen to it all the time so here they are:

My life be like Ooh Ahh

CHORUS:

It's times like these that make me say,
Lord if you see me please come my way.

Leavin bread crumbs for when I stray

Rely on sacrifice and the price you paid

Feel me like a fingertip

(flow fingertip flow fingertip)

Sometimes I fall I slip

Got a heartfelt desire be more like you

Trying not to quench your fire by the things that i do

I'm on an island by my lonesome stranded

Low key and stayin' candid

Reflectin on the things I try my hand at

Search for the equations to persuasions I'm used to

Findin comfort in the zones of closet bones I get loose to

A mountainous fontaine,

Spinnin and monsoonin

Grinnin its high octane

This worlds out wacky

Rollin down the hills cause lifes a hassle

Encircled by my folly like a moat surround a castle

Stay afloat,

Catch a second wind thin is the air I breathe

Teary-eyed nose runnin, wipe the snot on my sleeve

I'm callin on my savior to be all that I need

Please forgive me my behavior had me lost at light speed

CHORUS

The fear of never falling in love

And the tears after losing the feelings

Of what you thought love was

Like the dirt still up under the rug

(My life be like)

Bad characteristics covered in Christ's blood

The joy of new birth and the pain of growing up

The bliss between giving my all and giving up

The highs and lows,

Paths and roads I chose

In the cold I froze

Trying to ease my woes

In this world of sin

Clothes to thin to fend

So to God I send

Words of help to win

In grumblings so deep letters could never express

So the sounds of Ooh Ahh beneath my breath projects

CHORUS

My life be like (Toby Mac)

My life be like ooh aah ooh

Dum dum diddy

Here comes that boy from the capital city

Last up on the Grits new ditty

But eight bars of the truth will do,

uh

I believe there's a pride thats stunning,

And I believe in the kingdom coming

I believe if you seek the truth,

You don't need to look far cuz it's gonna find you

So why, oh why, do I trip and stumble?

And ooh ahh as commitment crumble?

I can't believe that I'm here again?

PS. Its a good show you should definately watch it some time.
Plays Monday nights at 10:30 on MTV

BOB

Yeah, thats my church. So proud to call my church home. Its pretty cool we have the oppurtunity to host this and have hundreds of people who don't know God in our building. Just being able to love on them, serve them, and just show them who Christians really are and who God really is. The place was packed to hear some awesome bands. Being in the Coffee Bar all night I couldn't hear all that much but I did hear some pretty good muffled songs. There was one thing that stood out to me tonight when I was cleaning up foyer. One guy was standing with his friends swearing then his friend just looked at him unimpressed and said "Dude, we're in a church show some respect." It definately put a smile on my face. And if this guy doesn't know Jesus, i'm hoping its a step in the right direction.

I'm gonna fill you all in on the rest of my day to since it was pretty rad, because at the end of a long day I just like to get the events down, cause this is like my little journal. Started the morning nice and early since my Ma had the day off too. Okay pause. I realised, Chanel, ever since you left i've started calling my mom, ma. Don't know why and I didn't realise it until a few days ago. It's weird. Unpause. We took off downtown to go visit my cousin who is expecting any day now. It was a great visit considering I havn't seen her since she's gotten pregnant, well actually didn't even learn she was pregnant until 2 months ago because my mother seemed to forget to let me in on this little fact. They're having a canundrum because they're having a home birth and two days ago their furnace kicked it. Appropiate heat is important to a home birth. They can't get the part in until Tuesday for their furnace and she's been having contractions since last night. So i'm praying for a donation of electric heaters from friends and family for this safety of their new child. Which the already have one daughter Juna. And its so cute because when you ask her "Where's the baby?" She goes to her mom pulls up her shirt and kisses then hugs her belly. Its absolutly adorable....i should mention their other daughter is 20 months.

Now i'm going to skip to after Battle of the Bands. This aparently is going to be a long post today was a super packed day. Where one part I was very mad at Rogers but we're going to skip that because I have already vented to a few about my frustrations and anger can eat you up, and its the devils work. So i'm over it. Done. Amen. aahaha.

Okay seriously. After BOB we came out to about 2 inches of snow I guess. It was pure magic. I got home and started writing my letters to Chanel and Letitia...and now I guess Paula's going to get one too.
Then I realised how last BOB the bands the both of them were here in Canada. We would have all been together tonight. Probably jump in Hector blast the tunes and go to White Rock as usual. Tonight feels like the kinda night we would just sit in Hector and watch the ocean and play worship music and just sit with each other and God. hen go frolic in the snow, maybe build a small fort.
Man I miss that so much, not the sitting with god part cause I do that all the time, cause I just can't help it. But the sitting with all if us in Hector having God time and just us time. Love you guys, you know who you are.

Gorgeous

I am the worst at drawing hair. It is the one thing i can't do.

So it is what im going to work on. But I found this peice online it is pretty good i'de say.

Walking in a winter wonderland

My Midterms are OVER. I am free. Since I am free today was catchup day. The last few weeks have been hectic with events, school and studying. Today was a chance to sleep in, relax, have God time, collect myself, then do some major cleaning! My room is IMMACULATE! It's pretty amazing really, my room is never this clean. I mean I can see my entire floor AND there is NOTHING on my desk. Yeah my jaw dropped too.

What's better to end the day than;

THE FIRST SNOW OF THE SEASON! :)

It feels like the holidays now!

I hope it sticks and I get to
wake up to a winter wonderland!

"I feel like i'm floating"

I was browsing Itunes about a month ago and found this amazing pianist. Because I want to learn to play the piano so much, and will someday soon, it found his songs super inspiring. Paula makes fun of my because I kinda feel like I'm floating or running in a Field full of flowers when i'm listening to his music. His peices have a voice all to themselves. It just puts me in a complete sense of peace. And its so amazing how music can do that do you. A song can directly affect your mood, that's why i'm so careful to what I listen to sometimes. But you gotta check out his music. The stuff from his latest CD I couldn't find anywhere on youtube so this is from his last. I like his new stuff better. You all have heard his compositions before because he has wrote music from many people one being Celine Dion...haaha

Recognise this...

yeah i thought so. :)
He also co-wrote the official olympic song "I Believe"

God's Road Map

I love the people god has placed in my life.

We had our leaders dinner tonight. It was pretty rad. A house full of some of the most amazing inspirational people i know, what could be better? Jenna blessed us with a fantastic meal. I think its the best home cooked meal i've ever had, besides my momma's rice that I love so darn much.

Jenna and Koby took a portion of the night to appreciate us and speak into each of our lives, which was so inspirational. Sometime you don't realise how you look in someone else's perspective. But Koby also talked about disciples and how we're creating future leaders to meet our goals; bringing our youth into their roles as young leaders in their church. Thats definately been on my heart with my girls lately. Many of them are going into their senior years so the peer pressure is getting more intense for them to drink and party it up, and to ultimately stray from their morals. Which i know each of them has very strong morals. I'm proud of them, when they mess up they know and they fully trust us enough to tell us when they do. But I want ALL of them to one day be Wildfire leaders and that all starts now. Its our jobs to lead them up to that and lead them to what God has planned for them.

I have hope for these girls. No, more like i'm conifident in these girls that they have the ability to do more than great things and that one day they will be marvolous women of God even more than they are now. And that sometime in the near future many of them will be standing among our leadership team. I'll keep telling them that until i'm blue in the face.

Study..whats that?

I don't think my brain is able to absorb anything more on Micro Economics. I think it has reached it max potential. For the last 2 days I have been making notes, reviewing my notes, reading the textbook like crazy, working out questions, highlighting, re-highlighting and I don't think there's anything left to cover. Its been a hard realization that I could get high b's and A's in highschool without cracking open my book. Now I really have to work. Everyone says University is hard. Its not really, you just have to put in the work. 

I went into my last midterm thinking i new everything and bombed it :S.

But I know for a fact that i wasn't as prepared as I am for this midterm right now.

So i'm sitting in the library looking at my notes then taking a break. Theres a guy at the table beside me sleeping looking at the ceiling with his mouth open. Its entertaining; wanted to take a picture for my picture of the day...but thats not really that nice of me is it.

Awaken my Soul

This right here is my winter.

If only I had a fireplace that worked.

 I would probably read more if I did.

Book to read this winter so far:

Finish 'The Shack'

'The Winter Vault'

'Crazy Love'

and of course 'The Bible'

Looks weird in quote

But its definately a title of the most awesome book ever :)

How fickle my heart

and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find
any truth in your lies

And now my heart stumbles

on things I don't know

Lend me your hand

and we'll conquer them all

Lend me your eyes

I can change what you see

This winter's gonna be wimsical I know it...

Cher.

SURPRISE!

Sam's surprise party was a success. Good Job to his PLBC friend who planned this shindig. He had no idea, whatsoever. I call that failure. Get it cause its was not a failure cause it was crossed out....yeah.

Got to know a few newer friends much better and played a pretty fun game called Apples to Apples, of which I had never heard of. It was pretty fun.

P.S. Paula is a big cheater. An obvious big cheater. But at least she's not one of those cheaters who when caught are like "NO, I'm not cheating"

Thats why I love her.

End note: I had much fun.

And all that Jazz

Okay, time to blog. I dread this sometimes. I always do it right before I go to bed, in fact I am lying in bed with my laptop when I blog. Yet, once its done I'm glad I have done it. It's nice to just get thoughts and events written down. Also the fact I'm taking English next semester and this will help with my writing...or maybe not because I do not follow proper sentence structure, grammar, or spelling in these little spiels. I am well aware my blogs don't make a bit of sense at some parts, but did I not say I do this task in bed whilst I am longing for sleep to overcome me. It does help my flow, vocab, and creativity however.

So last night...what did happen last night. Don't worry I did not forget. I went to Jazz for a Cause held at Java Jazz Cafe, my dear friend Mia's family establishment. Sorry I like using the word establishment I feel sophisticated. To continue, it was a nice little fundraiser put on by a few people I like a real lot to raise money for Watoto.

Watoto is an organization in Africa that rescues many children orphaned by aids, abducted and put into child soldiery etc. They feed, nurse and educate the children as well as place them in a safe home environment with a mother within their organization.

Click for more info on Watoto here!

It was a wonderful night of Jazzy entertainment, talent, friends, and good company. And man, my friends are talents. Tried to put up a peak of my talented friend Liz (chub - the one photographed with me to the left) but Blogger was being lame so pictures will have to do.



What.

Thats nuts. That's pretty sweet 50 cent did this. Definately give him props.

The story of my life, and the most amazing people in it.

 Love you guys.

God, you certainly provide.

Last night I came home and read my bible. Now theres always folded up peices of papter in the back of my bible. I go through them an re read them every now and again but it had been a few months since I had. The was one that was predominantely just sticking its corner out. It was like it was begging my to look at it. Okay so i'm going to stop here and give you some back story.

I havn't been working alot lately. I've been so focused on school because the last few midterm's quiz's i've had, I haven't done mighty well on them you could say. So my bank account number has been dwindling. With all my school costs and every day costs. With Chirstmas coming up i've been a tad worried since i've take off a total of 17 days off work. only making me available to work about 4 a month. Yes I have alot of money in back up saving roughly 7 grand now, but thats for school.

So back to the papers in my bible. I felt the need to look through these papers. Something was just pursueing me, and I now definately know this whole situation was God. As I flipped to the back of my book I picked out the one that was playing peek-a-boo with me. Unfold it to find it was a check from the government for $168. Yeah, exactly. I remember getting that check in september but didn't need that money I was just going to cash it and put it in saving. God knows me well enough that I would have spent it and in fact not put it in savings. So now as it reappears when I probably needed it the most this year.

God you are good, so so good.

RIP Samantha Mattersdorfer

Yesterday I lost a friend to cancer. I have posted about her awhile back about her fight with Cancer. Lately it had gotten so bad that she could physically feel the tumor's all over her body and was in much pain having seisures everyday.

Samantha was an inspiration in many peoples lives. She lived like she didn't have cancer at most times and made the most of her life. She did countless fundraisers and raised several thousands of dollars for the Terry Fox Foundation. I do not know the exact number she raised, and donations in her name are surely not over. She was definately a fighter and one of the bravest people I have ever known.

This is a copy of a speach she gave at a fundraisher in September 2009-

Im Samantha Mattersdorfer, Im 18 years old and I am battling cancer.



It was april 08 11:30pm, just last year. I was in this little office cramed in like a bunch of sardines with the doctor, my mom and my little brother. Dr. Stephen Maloon looked so hesitant. It was like he didnt know what to tell me or how to say it.
all I can remember is looking at the computer screen and seeing that my left femur bone in my leg looked pretty different then the right but Im no medical doctor how am I suppose to know what going on. Im only 17. Dr. Maloons words still ring in my head “Samantha this doesnt look good”
He finally came out and told me that I had Osteosarcoma. The cancer, had been eatting through my bone marrow , broke outside of the femur bone and started growing on my left knee. He said it looked like I had Osteosarcoma 6-8 before I even had any symptoms or pains. He was so shocked that I was walking on it because the bone was so hollow.
Im not the type to cry or shed emotions but one single tear ran down my face, “ Well, what do we do about it.” I asked. I still remember the look on my moms face or the doctor. I know they probably thought I didnt get it but I did. Cancer was going to be my new life.
On the way home we had to pick up crutches. I couldnt risk breaking the bone. It felt so surreal. I didnt know what just happened. I sat around for at least 2 weeks before chemo started. Just try to research and find out more about this cancer. I felt like I needed to figure this out. The cancer is so under researched and lacking in information I felt like I was reading the same thing over and over again.
We got all packed up and put into the car for my first chemo with my overnight bag and my crutches. I remember not wanting to go. I dont know if it was from my stubborn personality or from the dislike of hospitals but I really didnt want to do this. I knew though that this was the best

Chemo Day One- Went terrible. My mom stayed the whole day with me. It was so late and she needed to get home. She could have stayed but a tired mom wouldnt have been any help to me. She agreed to leave around 2:30am. And come back around 6ish. At 4am the same morning, I rolled over to throw up and I heard something crack, followed by a sharp pain. I broke my leg.
I let out the loudest scream while frantically hitting the panic button. I didnt know what to do. I was more upset with myself because I broke the one rule set by the doctors, do not break your leg!
I knew what would happen if I broke my leg. It was given, I wouldnt get to keep my leg and get the rods put into where my hollow femur was. My leg would hvve to be removed to save my life and I would have to give the permission to do so. 7 days later after the break, while in so much pain and upset, I got transfered to VGH.
Surgery was scheduled for the morning after arrival. After the 4 hour surgery. I woke up. It was adifferent sight to see something you were born with to be removed and never be able to have your leg again. I had such a need to be normal, that after the surgery I was moving around and adjusting to my new miniture leg in ICU.
5 month ago, I was diagnosed with Terminal Osteosarcoma Me-tast-isis. The cancer has now spread to both my lungs through my bloodstream. I have a combined total of 20 tumors. Broken up into 10 in each lung. This was a 90% chance after I broke my leg. Now with a 20% survival rate after 5 years and no option to do surgery. I just hope to raise awareness.
There isnt many people like Terry Fox and myself, which can have both disadvantages and advantages. I hope every year when I raise funds that I am helping others like ourselves. Without the Terry Fox foundation we could still be at square one with no answers. I dont only do this run for bone cancer, I do this for everyone who has been touched with cancer. People who have survived, people who have passed away, people like myself who battle it everyday. One day I know with everyones help, cancer will be gone.
Last Terry Fox Run I did it while in my 5th round of chemo. It was something very important to my family. In five days I raised $8000 dollars. This year, I broke that record.
My father works for TSI Terminals. I had an opportunity to raise more money for the foundation with a sponsership from TSI. The opportunity was that TSI will match the amount that I raise by myself dollar to dollar to make my grand total way bigger. I would love to announce that at this moment with the TSI dollar match I have a combined total of.....
$ 14,640


I could write about her forever about her abundant heart, kindness, comical attitude. I remeber working with her she was always full of energy and joking around. She meant a great deal in my life even though I didn't get to see her much because of her condition. She was always in my thoughts and prayers.

RIP Samantha Mattersdorfer

November 26 1990-November 9 2010

I will always remember you and this night.

And your love for twilight, the Canucks and the Bc Lions

Get 'er done.

The conversation at the table next to me in the library is going something like this..they are clearly best friends.

guy 1 "when are you going to do excersize for chapter 5 and 6...and then redo them because you didn't do them right the first time"

guy 2 "tomorrow"

guy 1 "we have 6 hours and 45 minutes to do them"

guy 2 "i know i got it figured out"

guy 1 "dude your never going to do them do them right now you know you'll be redoing them"

Keeping his friend in line for his studies. Thats friendship right there.

As a sophmore, with Reggaeton

This morning in Art we had to do nude sketches :S I was kinda strange at first and i'm glad we had a girl, or else that would have been uncomfertable. But after a while of drawing you don't even realise its a naked woman your drawing and like all drawing if we kinda peaceful. I guess it was cause i realised the beauty of the human body. All the different lines, curves, porportions. We drew a few gesture sketches then a 10 minute standing pose. A half hour and a 45 minute sitting pose, then a 45 minute laying down pose. The next two classes we're going to have nude models too..and i'm pretty sure that means we will have guys. Class got out at 1 and now i'm chillen in the lounge on my laptop. I enjoy the atmosphere of University. Independance, knowledge, community, discussion its pretty sweet. This building is packed with people with all kinds of intellegence and talents. I just wanna take everything in their brain and put it in mine. I would go to school and take classes forever if i could. History, Art History, Philosophy, socialagy. I love learning about things. The things that have happened and what people have done facinates me. If my passion wasn't arts and design I would have totally done history. I do wanna take art history but i hear its a HUGE workload.

OH and i registered for next semester. I have 4 courses. English, drawing 2, intro painting, and marketing-small business essentials. I really wanted to take Either business or Art history but I think 5 courses is pushing it especially with English 1100 because there are many papers and with church and work I don't think I would be able to put my all into the courses i'm having some trouble with thee now.

I'm going to go study for my Eco midterm now until 6.

Then I see you, you're walking cross the campus.

Cruel professor, Studying romances

Thanks Gab for always getting that stuck in my head at school.



I love Sundays

Sundays are my favorite day of the week. We do Sundays like noone else. Its always a day of God and the people that mean the most to me. And usually that makes for some pretty intense times.

This week was a little bit of a gongshow. Long story short I though I taught first service so this was my morning:

wake up and leave Gab and Paula at my place

 (if you read my last post you would have known the

slept over the night before)

Only have 3 hours of sleep like the last two nights

Race my hiney to the bus.

Get there 5 minutes early

Wait for the bus

Have the bus drive right past me

Get to church a half an hour late to teach...

Only to find out i'm not even in a class

So I help in the upstairs class

Have a rad time in the 3-7

Sit in second service with Gab, Paula, Yaisa, and Silas

That was my morning it was very very hectic, but it was still spledid if I had to go back and do it again I would!

After service we went to Wings then went and wasted time at a Sullivan park with Gab and Paul2 it was a splendid time and we had a mini;

Photoshoot



WAM BAM

Thank-you Ma'am

And Wildfire was pretty tight. Worship was awesome. You know when your like yelling at the top of your lungs but you wanna yell louder but you just can't. That was me in worship, it was grand :)

Twilight zone?

If any of you don't know, which i'm pretty sure all of you do because no one reads my blog besides my closest friends pretty much, two of my best friends took off on a plane. one to plight to Bradford, England and the other's travels took her to Buenos Aires, Argentina. It has been super hard to keep each other updated. Even with technology all the technology in the world it doesn't change the time difference...well actually if you have a time machine it would, that would be sweet I would go back in time and be like hey jesus whats up? Well maybe I wouldn't say whats up cause i don't think I would be that casual i think i would be more in awe and be like jesus is in front of my right now...right now. Wow that would blow my mind...okay i'm getting off topic. On our Saturday night sleep over the three of us made a plan to skype..(or well tokbox because its better when you want to video more that one person), all 5 of us. Well it failed, lame time change calculations.

So the time change completely ruined us all skypeing together..but the one thing that was kinda neat was we actually did get to talk to both Chanel and Letitia at 1am. So it was like we were talking to both of them at once except we weren't does anyone get what i'm saying? Let me break it down. 11:30 to 215ish* we talk to Chanel. Except because of the fall back we got a complete second chance at 1am. Letitia comes on at 1:16...yeah thats right one minute after Chanel goes to bed.  That was probably a waste of your life reading that paragraph but I found it pretty cool.

Even though we didn't get to talk all 5 of us at once, our conversations where awsome. We sang Chanel a string of songs to make her cry, except she held the actual tears in very well even though they were on the brink of pouring from her eyes like a spout. I loved singing all the old songs we used to listen to in Hector. I should make a mix of the songs we used to listen to, i'll call it the hector mix :) But it was truly great to hear what was going on in our lives straight to each other and not just in message. Its not quite the same when you tell great news and you don't get to see their reaction.

This is probably getting boring so i'll leave you with that and the fact my eye is gonna twitch right out of its socket within seconds. But the night way grand, its amazing i was able to spend the night with all my best friend even though their half way around the world. It was a little like we all had a sleep over and stayed. Went to bed with Chanel and woke up with Letitia and had pancakes.

You are my strength, Strength like no other.

I feel like sometime I put my prayers in here. This is like my journal so it works.

Today was...I don't even have words. I don't know how on earth I got through the last few days...well actually I do. God. Thank you for the strength over the last two days to be full of energy and be able to do everything with my all...except for sleeping that is.

I'll post tomorrow about what ever has happened over the last few days, cause theres one thing in particular i wanna blog about :)

Good night peaceful evening. I bid you farewell although I would love to soak you up.

100th post

When my soul is weak

I sing God strengthen me

When I find myself in need

I sing God rescue me

When my troubles overwhelm

I sing God bring your peace

Lord your one and only Son

Is all I ever need

I am free, free

All my chains are broken

Sometime this is all I really need to hear. Man Parachute Band is so good, just put them on random and I hear exactly what I need to hear ALL the time...well i know that has alot to do with God. Man sometime I really don't realise how much he's needed in my life. From where I am just over a year ago to now like i know i've said this a few posts earlier but man i can't even believe it. Like I love my family but I have a whole new one that god has given me that makes up for all the crap at home. Always supportive never judgemental and I have the best friend you could ever ask for man their halfway around the world because god brought them their. Amazing.



This is my one hundreth post by the way, yay. So my day was super boring but I know Chanel and Letitia wanna hear it all sooo. Woke up so late and went to the mall cause i'm in desperate need of jeans because i have NONE, litteraly no jeans. So i got jeans and pj bottoms. then got two shirts and a purse for super super cheap cause Off the Wall is shutting down and everythings on sale plus 40 percent off the lowest ticketed price. Nuts. So i think my fall/winter/spring wardrobe is complete can't spend anymore money haha. I have to work at 5 am tomorrow but...i woke up at 1pm today so theres no way i'm sleeping now i've attempted.

OOOH and starbucks drinks are out. MY FAVOURITE. Had a Eggnog Latte today and can't wait to make a chai eggnog latte sunday at church!

Free To Dream

"The longer i keep putting it off the longer it can stay a dream and i can't screw it up" Ted Mosby

So much on my mind over the last week I don't know how many thoughts have been ricocheting around my head. And every day over the last week whether it be on the bus walking across campus God has strategically put little things in my place to stop me from thinking or the opposite make me think about something.

 This evening I read my message thread and just sat there and though how this sucks half of my best friends are one the other side of the world and how much I just wish we could all be together because we're so strong when we're together. I went down stairs and my mom was watching How I Met your Mother so I sat down and watched for a few minutes then Ted Mosby said that quote...or something along the lines. I realised this doesn't suck, this is amazing. Their living these huge dreams god has put before them and one by one all of us are gonna take flight on ours. Paula going to Bible school then/or Spain and I don't want Gabs to go but maybe Italy for her? Who knows maybe I'll end up in Ireland or Scotland or maybe just here. Everything has always pointed to Interior Design and I know that isn't the big picture. When your little you think your career is the big picture but what you do with your life and "what you become" isn't necessarily your career. I think Interior Design is just a start to what I really wanna do. Flip house and help families who don't have a home that adequates them. Like those who are special needs and need specialized homes, or people that have been devastated and need their home fixed; Something like Extreme Home Makeover without the show. I just need to keep praying and wait God will reveal things in his time I feel like what I'm doing right now is just right.

Anyways that's been my thoughts this last week. And how I need to study more instead of just two days before things.

This is sweet

I desperately want this shirt!

180 Degrees

I keep thinking of things to post then forget because the last few days have been quite busy. I'm not a big Halloween person, but this year was pretty good.

But was I really just wanna say about today is....
On the bus I was taking home from school today there was a small one child family a few seats ahead of me. They weren't well off but were so happy. It was the type of family you could generally tell was pretty awesome. The mom typically made her son embarassed by lovingly teasing him and attempting to kiss him on the cheak while he played the pull away but you could tell he really liked it. They all seemed so incredibly happy and nothing in the world could get between the three of them. It made me start thinking about family. Mine now and my own in the future. Over the last two years my outlook on life has probably turned about 150 degrees and within the last 4 probably a full 180.

Its so true that God will transform your heart and you'll start to dream of what you never imagined and see everything in a different perspective. I think anyday whether i'm stuggling, or in the worst storm of my life, I can honestly say I love my life and every single thing in it.



Jesus, I am so in love with you.