Creeeeeeep

Can I have a bite of your food?

Deer crossings.

THE funniest thing i've heard in such a long time. I was crying.

The lucky one living her dream

So school has STARTED, hence the lack of posts. I've been swallowed in homework, well not really more just running around getting supplies for the first few weeks. I've been super busy and it's hard work but i'm LOVING every second of it.

The program is amazing. It's so much more than I expected. I honestly stopped myself today and just listened to my prof and thought to myself am i really here. I feel like i'm walking in a dream. To talk about design. Draw everyday, expiriment with what I actually see and don't see. I'm not going to actually get to design any interiors this semester it's all fundamental building blocks to get me there, it's a ridiculous amount of fun.

Since there's only 20 people in each class, the program is incredibly tight knit. Everyone knows everyone I had people from other years seeking me out because they hadn't met me yet, third, fourth and fifth years just wonder in an out of my class room and ask if we need help and we can ask for guidance or help with anything.

The people in my class are THE sweetest and i've already become great friends with a lot of them. I can't wait for them to become like family.

My prof's are amazing a lot of them have impressing practice background and are even still practicing on the side.

I could go on forever about how excited I am and how great this is. All that's great, but it only happened because I followed that dream. You know the one, you know exactly what it is right now. I could have given up when they didn't accept me the first time. I could have given up when I was frustrated with being a first year three years in a row. I could have given up when my parents told me I could never do, i can't afford it and i'm going to fail at it. I could have given up simply because it's all the way in richmond and a 4 hour transit a day. But your dreams are hard for a reason. If it's right and it's something you want it's NEVER going to come easily and at some point or a lot of the time it WILL feel impossible. There will always be people telling you it's not possible or you can't do it, one of those people could be yourself. Just know they are wrong, you are wrong. When you beat it and when you get there, you look back and it was all worth it and it was all for a reason. God's timing is perfect and you don't understand it until after. So shoot for your dreams, because some smart lady once told me that if you want it badly enough there's no excuse that is EVER valid.

You know you make me a ghost

Do you remember when the walls fell

 Do you remember the sound that the door made when you closed it on me

Do you know that I went down to the ground

Landed on both my broken-hearted knees

I’m a ghost
Haunting these halls
Climbing up walls that I never knew were there
And I’m lost
Broken down the middle of my heart, heart
I’m broken down the middle of my heart, heart, heart

You know you make me a ghost

You make me a ghost

I’m an invisible disaster

I keep trying to walk but my feet don’t find the solid ground

It’s like living in a bad dream

I keep trying to scream but my tongue has finally lost its sound

Unsettling thoughts

Today is the day i've come to rest with the fact I would rather my parent's divorce than stay together.

Whatever happens I hold to you god. I know everything will be okay,

The Happy List

I'm having a not so great day so I'm going to join the things that make my heart happy train.

So here are some things that make my heart super happy :)


Jesus
My bible
Knitting
best friends
brother dates
night time swimming
concerts
camping
road trips
fires
scarves
tea
starbucks
wood
trees
brick
trucks
christmas
christmas eve
ferry rides
victoria
snow
stepping on crunchy leaves
crisp fall
air
rain
gum boots
libraries
old buildings
drawing
painting
wilderness walks
mountains
lakes
going on adventures
coffee shops
chocolate
walking my dog
my own bed
fabric
leather
downtown vancouver
seeing deer
dresses
homemade cd's

The Climb.

I'm pretty sure I've blogged this before but i'm hoping this is a new take on it. 

I have totally just let myself dwell on everything that is going on and I was fully aware of it, I just didn't care. I felt I had a reason to be angry and kinda just allowed myself the time to mop. Which honestly now I'm kind glad I did, because honestly I wouldn't have learnt anything from it. I'm not saying the frustration I'm feeling now or the anger is over. We're totally all aloud to get into those seasons and moods, we're human after all. But I completely wasn't myself and I think that was the problem. I know God created me to be a faith-filled person. I'm usually the one that is pushing no matter what because I know there is a light on the other side of that tunnel. But for a little bit I lost sight of that other side.

One thing lost sight of this time is that opposition is always from the devil and it ALWAYS means God has something amazing for you. The enemy always attacks what is beyond measure of value. I should have said 'BRING IT" because the devil has already lost and whatever comes my way will be totally worth what God is trying teach me or being me to. 

Just like these mountains it's a beautiful view once you got to this side of them.

It sounds cliche and and corny but I'm going to quote Miley on this one.

Cause there's always gonna be another mountain 

I'm always gonna wanna make it move 

Always gonna be a uphill battle 

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

 
Ain't about how fast I get there  

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side  

It's the climb.

Here comes the sun.

Yesterday was my laptop orientation. Which meant this was the first time I was going to meet the 19 others I'm spending every monday to friday + with for 4 years. I was nervous and excited.

I used to be the shy-est person ever. Well in elementary and high-school I was. Now I wouldn't say I'm the most outgoing person in the world, I'm still pretty meek. If elementary and high school was sitting in that room I probably would have sat alone in my spot wanting to start conversation but to afraid. So I figured, fresh start if I'm really going to push myself in the next for years I should probably start crossing some boundries. So I started conversations I never would have in a million katrillion years initiated and mingled with all the people around me. But I promise I still suck at names...and I don't remember anyone's name except this girl Ashley who seemed pretty sweet.

Now I'm going to side track just a little and tell you about how awesome the day was and how fricken excited and thankful I am I got into this program. The morning started a little quiet while we all waited to begin no one really talked besides this one girl I sat beside because she was in my interview group. There were several late student because there was an orientation downstairs too for general students so many got caught up and confused because no one told us exactly where OUR orientation was because they didn't actually write it in the e-mail the location. Whoops.

Every part of the day way fantastic. We have one eccentric teacher she was looking for music then finally found her ghetto blaster then annouced quite suddenly and to be honest a little scarily, "I'M GOING TO GRAB MY TAPES?" She scurried off and then comes back both my other two faculty a  little frightened to what she was going to play. She popped the tapes in and clicked play, I was ecstatic that the tune that started playing was in fact The Beatles. I KNEW I was meant to be there.

The day was just awesome. They talked about startup week, where next week I don't go to any of my classes it's just a ton of activities and we get to go on two feild trips. And then a Chile presentation.

All the doubt it gone, I know it's in god's plan for me to do this, which means nothing is going to get in my way, unless I let it.

I've just kept telling myself that things will get better once school starts. And they will. I'm so excited. Only a week and I can submerse myself in it and then it's CHRISTMAS :)


I'm so looking forward to these next 4 years and everything it entails.

Utonagon

As soon as I finish my program I'm definitely getting a dog. I just stumlbed across this mix, and it's gorgeous! 

Alaskan Malamute, Siberian Husky and German Shephard. Called a Utonagon. 

GORGEOUS!

No.

I don't want my foot to be broken anymore. I'm so tired of not being able to do anything, or being a burden on people. Or not being able to enjoy the rest of my summer. More than half the things I wanted to do this August are shot now. I wanted to go for several more bike rides. Go downtown to Granville Island and Main street. For goodness sake I didn't even get to go to the Blarney this entire summer. I wanted to go stroll Jericho. I really really wanted to go to the Zoo. I hate feeling restricted and I feel enough of that at home where I am now unpleasantly stuck because of this damn foot. Two weeks and goooodbye cast FOREVER. I refuse to break it again. Also if I do I can't even imagine the jokes, people already make fun of me enough after the second time.

Frick I'm so done with this.

inked..I wish I was.

Man I just want my tattoo now. Seriously. There's three I've pretty much decided on, I just can't afford them right now. These are what I want so far.

Firstly I want a giant fish on my foot kinda like this, but instead of Faith it's going to say ISAIAH 41:10 and be in a slightly different style.

Secondly I want a doe for my Nana. On the inside of my upper arm, or on the middle side of my back. Either the first one in a line drawing with no detail or the second one in a line drawing or solid black but with no antlers.

Thirdly, I'm getting an anchor with my 4 best friends. Considering 3 of us already have ours. I'm contemplating getting it on the inside or outside of my forearm or the back of my ankle. It's either going to be this skinny one or made up of words that anchor me.

There are a few more but...lets just get some on me first.